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Beauty Standards and Society

I don’t blame us, it’s an instinct […] but is it right?

So, it’s been over a week, and I haven’t written anything; I’m a bad blogger. Lmao!

I recently went on vacation, so there’s my excuse.

But, today’s topic isn’t about my fantastic, eventful trip!// It’s about competition, but most importantly, beauty.

So, my school is having a “School Queen Competition” (it’s exactly the same as a Prom Queen, but without the Prom), and it does this every year.

 

I was talking to one of my teachers, who’s in the “Planning Committee”, and she hates it. So, we were talking and she just started talking about how it’s a waste of time and money, especially for the candidates’ parents. And it wasn’t until then when I realized: “These girls are spending hundreds of pesos just to be the face of my school for just one year”. And yeah, we, the students, help them, but even then, it’s still a major use of money on the parents’ behave.

And that just got me thinking a lot about how we as humans find the necessity to find “the most beautiful” of everything:

  • “The most beautiful flower”
  • “The most beautiful animal”
  • “The most beautiful place”

“The Most Beautiful Person”

I don’t blame us, it’s an instinct we’ve grown to have since we were young, but is it right? The fact this whole “most beautiful” thing has even become a business for a lot of people, as it is in beauty pageants and end-of-year articles with “Most Handsome/Beautiful Man/Woman”, is astonishing! I do believe beauty standards are something that should be left behind and because of said-beauty-standards: we all lack self-confidence, and the lack of self-confidence leads to depression and self-devaluation.

But I’m no psychologist nor anyone with a major or any type of authority to wrong our doings.

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Crushes~

“Crushes are definitely weird.”

Crushes are definitely weird.

I have had and will have a lot of crushes, but yet again, everyone will.

I have two especially weird crushes at the moment. The reason behind them being weird is the fact that I only talk to them on the public transport.

One of them, male, is older than me, I estimate him being about 15 (I’m 16). He’s really funny and he’s cute.

The second, female, is also older than me. She’s 21; I’m her friend. She studies Uni and is pretty cute.

 

But today I went to take a delivery to my first crush’s house and I found out he has a girlfriend, and he even has a kid.

That made me sad, but I knew I had no chance with him.

But, in the end: I still have a chance with the girl?

Lmao, I’m super dumb.

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Insignificance in Life~

We make ourselves insignificant, and, in the same manner, it’s us who can and must make ourselves visible and known.

So, do you guys just have that one day where you feel useless? Maybe more than one day, lol, but that’s what today’s topic is: Just feeling useless.

I often times get told that my arguments/statements in conversation aren’t really that supportive to said argument/talk/etc., and that really makes me have a hard time during exposition and presentations because I just feel like what I’m saying isn’t that important to others as it may be to me.

For example: Today in theater we were doing some improv. and I was mostly a secondary/supporting character helping the lead actress in a couple of scenes, but when ever my character wanted to express something, it was mostly blocked out by the leads, which made me feel my character really didn’t do much in the improv. And although I know it wasn’t intentional, they’re right; When I sat down and started recapitulating what I said and my actions, I made my character “insignificant”, and I really do think this can apply to anyone and everyone’s life in moments like mine where we just feel insignificant!

We make ourselves insignificant, and, in the same manner, it’s us who can and must make ourselves visible and known.

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Gugudan – Act.4 Cait Sith – EP: Review!~

I think this is my favorite overall album yet!

So, since I’m really bored, I guess I’m starting a K-Pop album review segment?„ lmao (I say lmao too much, sorry~ ㅠㅠ)

But gugugods released a new 3-song-album today, and it was lit.

The Boots is an amazing song with a very good and catchy beat; and I can’t get over the fact that Sally (my wife) got more lines than before, so I’m super satisfied!

I personally preferred Lovesick over Silly, though. //:

But overall, I think this is my second favorite overall album yet! (followed by Chococo and A Girl Like Me and Wonderland being my first favorite!)

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First Blog Post! Yay~

“I really want a way to express myself with others and possibly relate with someone who might feel the way I feel and/or is going though what I’ve been going though.”

So, I’ve never been an interesting person, at least to myself: no, but a lot of people beg to differ, so I guess I’m starting a blog.

My name is anonymous because I fear of anyone finding out who I really am, but I’ll give you guys the gist:

  • My nickname is Albie, so lets just stick with that!
  • I just turned 16 and I’m studying my second (and second-to-last) year of high school! (the Mexican school system is different from American school system)
  • I am from Las Vegas, Nevada, United States, but~ a year and a half ago I moved to Northern Mexico because of my dad (I’ll get into that later).
  • I’m bisexual and haven’t been in a serious relationship with anyone for about 2 years now… 😦
  • I’m a huge K-Pop fan (lol!~).
  • I like some animes, although I’m not a huge fan.
  • I like reading and writing!
  • I don’t like sports at all, except for swimming (and dancing if some of you count it).

I started this blog because I really want a way to express myself with others and possibly relate with someone who might feel the way I feel and/or is going though what I’ve been going though.

 

What Happened to Yesterday…

“It was definitely something.”

Friday, 2 February, 2018

I had just written a blog post, very personal to me. I was very happy and satisfied that I could finally express that side of me and, aside from that, I was getting a lot of good tips! But then it turned to 8:15pm.

A call. A single call changed my life. This call was from a person wanting delivery service to their house near my father’s restaurant, so I obviously said: “¡Si, por supuesto!~” (“Yes, of course!~”).

I left the restaurant at about 8:45-8:50pm. I arrived to the location specified at 9:25pm. Nothing. I knocked once more and a man from the other side of the door asked what I needed. I explained to him that someone had ordered a pizza to that specific location. They denied any correlation to the delivery. I was puzzled, but I just said: “Bueno, disculpe la molestia, que pase buena noche.” (“Okay, sorry for bothering you, have a good evening”).

I called the number that had called for the delivery, and the man on the phone told me: “No, pues si hice ese pedido a su pizzería, ¡pero eso fue hace una semana, joven!” (“Well, I did make that order to your pizzeria, but that was a week ago, young man”). I was confused even more, but, as before, I just said “Okay” and pardoned myself for bothering him, and at such a late hour.

It was late and, after 9pm, public transport stops, so I had to walk about 3.5 miles to get back to the pizzeria.

I was furious that I had wasted 45 minutes on trying to make a delivery at that hour, just to be denied by both people.

“It was just a prank”, was the first thing that came to mind, but what could I do now.

I got to the pizzeria at about 9:45-9:55.

Nothing.

No one.

I assumed that the new cook my dad had hired the day before had left already since he lives about 20 minutes from the pizzeria, and that my dad was probably in the bathroom quickly.

I waited about 30 seconds until I yelled out for my dad.

That’s when I heard my dad yell at me to come towards him quickly; it took me a couple of seconds to realized that him and the cook were hiding behind a door we have near the bathrooms that leads towards a river behind the pizzeria.

I got scared and asked what happened, my dad and the cook told me to stop talking.

My dad told me softly that two young men around my age had been kidnapped 15 minutes before I got there.

I started to whimper and cry; the cook started panicking and started vomiting.

My dad told me to call my mom, assure her we were fine, lockdown the entire house, and hide with my two younger siblings; I called her cellphone:

No answer.

No answer.

No answer.

I started to cry, and in my startled rate I called my cousin who lives 3 houses down:

No answer.

No answer.

I get mad at this point and call my best friend who’s parents’ are my parents’ best friends and who live 4 housed up:

“¿Bueno?” (“Hello?”)

I yell at her to run to my house and call me back so I could talk to my mom, immediately.

– “‘Albie’, ¿que está pasando?” (“‘Albie’, what’s happening?”)

– “No puedo hablar ahorita, ¡sólo házlo, ya!” (“I can’t talk/explain right now, just do it, now!”)

I call back 3 minutes later and ask if she’s at my house yet. “Ya casi llego, pero dime qué pasa!” (“I’m almost there, but tell me what’s happening!”).

“Acaban de secuestrar a dos muchachos aquí en la pizzería.” (“Some people just kidnapped two guys/young men here in the pizzeria.”)

She panicks and gets to my house.

She hands me over to my mom and I try to explain the situation.

She doesn’t understand a word I say, except for “kidnap” and “two men”.

She gets desperate and I get desperate and I yell at her:

“Close all the fucking doors and windows and hide with the kids, now!”

I hang up.

By now a man in a red jacket has entered and exited the pizzeria two times.

He looks suspicious.

The third, and last, time he takes a long look into the kitchen from behind the main counter.

He’s not looking for service; He’s looking for someone.

My dad had called my uncle 7 minutes ago, and by the time the man leaves, after 3 minutes of inspectioning, my uncle gets there and gives us the all clear.

We close the pizzeria and run outside where a small ball of eight people has formed, four of which are family members, the remains four are: The cook, the nightly cleaner (who get there just as we were closing), the mayor of our municipality, and a high-ranked police officer (whom my uncle has connections to).

The mayor explains to my dad that it was undercover work in order to catch suspects of a kidnapping that happened 3 days earlier involving a very wealthy man in our region.

I open my phone to 98 WhatsApp messages within my Theater group.

My theater teacher lives near me and my pizzeria; she and her friend had the urge for pizza, and they saw the immediate aftermath of the kidnapping.

My teacher freaked out and asked one of the personel at the shop infront who saw everything.

They kidnapped my dad and possibly me, too: that’s what everyone was told.

My teacher told everyone to call me and get a hold of me to check if I was okay.

I told everyone I was okay.

I got home and the cook tagged along since he had no one to take him home.

They explained to me and my dad that apparently two suspicious men entered the pizzeria and looked at the menu too long just to ask for two orders of fries.

My dad was behind in the dishwashing room while the cook cooked the orders.

5 minutes after starting to fry the fries: one man came in and pointed a gun to one of the men.

The other man paced back a little and a second man entered and got him too and, in the act pointed a gun towards the cook and told him and my father to get down.

They left with both men and took them in their while van without detailing or license plates.

My dad told the worker to run towards the door near the bathrooms.

3 minutes into hiding and my Teacher with her best friend walked in and my father yelled at them to get out.

“¿Porque?” (“Why?”)

My father just yelled at them to leave again, to which they just laughed and went across the street to ask what was happening.

Then I got to the pizzeria about 8 minutes later.

This was a very impacting story and event that happened and affected my dad, our new cook, my teacher, everyone around us, and me.

I cannot believe how it was destiny to get that delivery order, forcing me to walk to the pizzeria en the cold rain, and avoiding me from danger.

Many family members say it was God, but I don’t believe in Him all too much.

But it was definitely something.